5 Ways to Love Your Bride Like Jesus

The card for my bride on our 37th Valentine’s Day:

“You make my heart happydownload-2

every single day.”

In front of “every” I wrote “almost”.

Just keeping it real.

About a decade ago, after a dynamic “conversation” with my bride, walking our black lab was my best exit from the dog house. I invited Jesus with us. I confessed, “Lord, I don’t know how to love my wife like You love your bride. Teach me.”

I’m still being schooled but I have notes.

5 Ways Jesus The Bridegroom Loves His Bride

~ The Bridegroom Honors His Bride

Jesus comes from a Bride-honoring family. His dad declined divorce and kept their marriage unconsummated until Jesus was born. Jesus extended the family honor with His dying request of his best friend to care for his dad’s bride. The genesis of His God-ordained union of a man and woman is in creation. His unadulterated view of women respects His bride deeply. His marriage “yes” means yes, rich or poor, joy or sorrow, health or sick until death, and, with Him, happily ever after.

~ The Bridegroom Serves His Bride

Jesus’ love language speaks through selfless serving like cooking breakfast and washing feet. Jesus leads not from a throne but with a towel. As a wedding guest He served the best last. His wedding reception welcomes all His friends.

~ The Bridegroom Purifies His Bride

Jesus’ words purify His bride. He speaks faith in her, peace to her, healing for her. Jesus confronts ignorance that renders a marriage powerless. He showers Shalom.

~ The Bridegroom Prays for His Bride

Jesus prayed early, often and long. He prayed with thanksgiving for her as God’s gift. Her protection is central. He prays not just for His bride but also the next generations.

~ The Bridegroom Dies for His Bride

Jesus gave Himself up to make a holy, radiant bride. He will  pay the full ransom, for there is no greater love than laying down His life for His bride.


In a sea of marriage stats and statutes, data and debates, Jesus the Bridegroom anchors the sanctity of marriage to the plasticity of the heart. A hard heart leads to divorce. A tender heart leads to devotion.

Marriage VowsWedding Rings

I often ask Jesus how He would love my bride if He was me. How is your marriage vowing? Is your spouse honored? How will you serve your spouse in this week, without being asked or recognized? What Scripture can you speak, write, text or post to bless your spouse? What are your spouse’s top three concerns you will take before the Father? What sacrifice at your “end” are you willing to let go of for your spouse?

You Promised

Not long after my stroll with my dog & Jesus, my elderly, godly friend Ed gave me A Promise Kept, an inspiring story of university president Robertson McQuilkin’s resignation to care for his wife with Alzheimer’s. Same love story for Ed & Eliza. May their Bridegroom-like love inspire you as well.

by Doug Webster

My Manifesto

Doug & Robin 7.31.82
Doug & Robin   July 31, 1982

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5 Fears Followers of Jesus Can Overcome

Over twenty years ago after sharing a struggle with a friend, he asked a penetrating question,

“Doug, what are you afraid of?”

His question stirred me to think about what I was thinking about. It still does.

Fear controls too many of us. Fear jacks joy, loots love, pilfers peace. Fear fuels destructive anger. We get sick of fear because fear makes us sick.

Dog - mad

Irrational fears become phobias usually starting in childhood or adolescence and carrying into adulthood. Whether spiders or snakes, looking down or flying high, being alone or in a crowd, common phobias dog (another top phobia) nearly 20 million Americans, twice as many women as men.

What are you afraid of?

     What does it look like to live without fear?

Jesus was never afraid. If Jesus did not master fear, the King of Kings has chinks in His armor and little to offer citizens of His Kingdom.

5 Fears Jesus Never FearedWalking on Water

~ Reputation – Jesus did not fear what people thought about Him because He mastered humility. He was not in charge, He obeyed His Father. Criticism, judgments or opinions never phased Jesus.

~ Loneliness – Jesus did not fear being alone because He mastered solitude. His close relationship with the Father eliminated debilitating loneliness and demanding crowds.

~ Failure – Jesus did not fear failure because He mastered surrender. He knew the Father would accomplish His agenda.

~ Tomorrow – Jesus did not fear tomorrow because He mastered living in Shalom. Jesus spoke from a peace within to a world without.

~ Death – Jesus did not fear death because He mastered trust in His Father’s love. Even though He predicted His brutal death, He didn’t fear death, He faced and conquered death.

How does the fearless leader Jesus mentor followers from fear to faith?


Hear Jesus saying to you, “My friend, what are you afraid of?” In your conversational friendship with Jesus, His Father and Spirit plus you makes a party of four. Together you can peel the onion so each answer draws closer to the real reason behind your fear.

Is it my reputation? Am I lonely? Will I fail (likely connected to reputation)? What if I can’t control tomorrow’s outcomes? Will this kill me (highly unlikely with nearly all fears)? Is death the end of me?

The great Surgeon will identify, dissect and transplant bankrupt fear with faith in the treasure of His Father’s goodness. In these powerful moments He calls us to “repent”, i.e., think about what we think about. Our practice of timely solitude and thoughtful silence with Jesus is the best prescription for excising fear.

Lion CubsSalt your self talk with plenty of grace and space. Confronting fear is a courageous safari across an emotional Serengeti. Consider inviting on your expedition someone who knows and loves Jesus and you. Maybe you’ll be the friend to walk alongside another friend.



On the verge of Peter’s worst failure, Jesus spoke to Peter the same life giving statement He offers us today:

“I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen others.”

by Doug Webster

My Manifesto

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